When they ask,"How did you get it?"

You can picture them seated across your living room, some shuffling and nervous, others wanting to be solemn and serious. The party of well-wishers has arrived. After a few hesitant gulps they will succeed in making appropriate eye contact with you. Their gaze is absorbing how you might look different, now that you have cancer. You can feel the question coming, right after the eyes widen and the head does a shake of disbelief. "I always thought you're healthy, how did you get it?" Don't roll your eyes now. Your doctor visits, reading, and the experience of being a cancer patient have all made you very wise. Your friend on the other hand, not so much. Most of the time, you give some rehear

"Don't tell mom she has cancer"

She is accompanied by her adult children and their spouses. They have her wait outside the consultation room. They start, "She doesn't know she has cancer." "We have been discussing her treatment options amongst us and would like your advice before we make decisions" Another requests,"Can you just tell her its a lump and that you will need to do surgery, but please don't tell her its cancer" This request makes me want to pose a lot of questions: 1) Why do we let you "pick-up" the report without consultation? I would expect that if I've performed the biopsy, the report should come to me first. I hand over the report to the patient and explain the findings, carrying on the discussion to the

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